Flies part 2

Humans according to flies...

Humans, why are they so weird? Is it really necessary that they're around? All they do is go around squishing us! Pardon me! Where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Albuzzert Fleinstein! I invented the fliPhone but of course humans don't realize that, their huge eyes can't see our amazing creations. Aaaanywho more on humans. I honestly don't hate them but I don't understand their purpose. With their big hands, big feet, and their teeny tiny, microscopic, invisible wings, how can they accomplish anything? Well I take that back sometimes the smaller models have bigger wings but they run around claiming they're farees, whatever those are. Why don't they claim they're flies? Sometimes they claim they're our cousins that get all the credit: butterflies and bees. They get all the attention. It's so flystrating, humans always say "Ooh look a pretty butterfly!!!" or "Watch out a bee!!!" they do nothing about us except grabbing the fly squisher! Those jerks! What'd we ever do to humans?! They're so rude!!!

Tucker

So Levi's owner took him from the barn where I rode him. She wanted him closer to where she lives so she moved him. So I can't ride him anymore which kinda sucks but anyway... I met another horse. His name is Tucker. He's one of the sweetest horses I've ever met. If you stand in front of him he'll sometimes put his head on you. Cutest. Thing. Ever!!! He's a really nice horse. He is very obedient. He's fun to ride but his trot is really bumpy because he has a limp or bad back feet or something, but the riding instructor says he's fine. He's not a huge horse so he spooks pretty easily. He's super pretty, he's dark brown and really fluffy. I was told that he's 15 years old. His trot is a pretty good speed but since he limps it's kind of bumpy. It's not too hard too get him to canter, which is very nice. Like I said he's fun to ride but honestly he's no Levi.

Cabin

I am in a cabin. Filled with things to see, to do. There is a big window. Out this window I can see trees and birds. 2 deer came by earlier looking for food. When they saw we hadn't put any out yet they left with disappointed looks on their faces. We put out corn for them but they haven't come back yet. I named 1 Shelly and one Bilbo, everyone thought that was funny. There is a lot of talking here, about everything. Mostly things a 12 year old wouldn't understand. There's a squirrel in the tree I'm gonna name him benny. There's a cat here, her name's Petal she's really cute. There are lots of cool decorations here especially bears and loons. There are cool things from different cultures in the bathroom. There are some cool, and some fairly creepy, masks and there's also a sword. I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere with responsibilities that aren't in existence. For the first time in quite a while I am completely free and relaxed.

Riding

People have told me: "Lindsay you're so good at riding horses" and that is so nice and it's flattering and all but then they go on to ask "How do you do it?" Well up until this point I didn't really know how to answer that. But I've figured it out now. These (in my opinion) are the 5ish (I'm too tired to count) most important things that make a good horse rider: 
Some of it is just instinct and it comes naturally for some people. Some of it is having enough experience. A lot of it is confidence and trust in yourself and these amazing creatures. But mostly it's choices. It's the choices you make to keep you and the people around you safe. But even more importantly it's the choices you make to keep your horses safe. A good rider knows if another horse is too close to your jump for you to go over it. Good riders know how and when to get out of the way if it's necessary. Even if it's your turn to go and the other person should get out of your way, it doesn't mean they will. A good rider is always prepared for any situation, problem, anything and everything. It takes a good rider to make a connection and a bond of trust with their horse and they know to keep that horse safe no matter what. That is what makes a good rider.

Dog Food

I wonder what dogs see in dog food. Why does it taste so good to them? Do they like bigger or smaller kibbles better? Well forget that question most dogs probably don't care they pretty much inhale their food without chewing anyway. I was curious about what dog food tasted like once. And being 9 I ate a piece. And let me tell you it was awful. Chicken flavored? I don't think so! It had a rough gravelly texture and it tasted like salty dirt. But mostly it was just gross. I have no clue at all why my dog goes so crazy for it. It has almost no flavor at all. I understand now why she eats wood.

My Little Elf

Hmmm...
Arg I can't think of anything to write about! Ok, so elves and fairies aren't real or anything but I'm desperate. So my Language arts teacher Mr. Streit told my class about some made up elf that lives on our shoulders and whispers to us about what to write. Oh little elf... Come out come out wherever you are... Grr nothing. Wait what about that little kid story about that lamp that if you rub it a genie pops out. Hmm but that lamp looks like a teapot and being 4'11" I can't reach the teapot at my house. Well I have a real lamp... If teapot lamps produce genies maybe real lamps produce elves. Well no one is around to laugh at me and I have no ideas of what to write about whatsoever. Alright I'm by the lamp *rub rub* nothing wow I'm shocked. Well what if I turned the lamp on... *rub rub*

*POOF!*

I look over to my right shoulder, nothing. I look to my left shoulder- "Ello mate g-day to ya!" "AAAH!" "Oi! whats all the racket about? I'm Benny your personal idea elf! ow can I elp you today?" 

Flies

Flies, why are they so dumb? Is it really necessary that they're around? They just fly around landing on us and buzzing in our ears. How do they even make that sound? It's so weird, not to mention annoying. What purpose does it serve? alerting predators? "Hey I'm over here come eat me!" Oh and don't forget about their favorite hobby: standing on poop! Fun... Don't flies taste with their feet I don't even want to think about it. Jeez flies have lots of design flaws when evolution decided how flies were going to evolve it obviously had too coffee because flies seem to serve no purpose. But though we think they're stupid they might think the opposite. Have you ever thought about how much flies take advantage of us? When they come in our house in the summer they're relaxing in the luxury of our Air Conditioning. And in my opinion more interesting: When they fly in our cars they're hitchhiking. Imagine how weird it would be to get in a car without knowing and a while later poof you're in a new place. Wait! Maybe they do it on purpose. If they have some reason to go they hop in a car and bam they get to start their life over.